Nick Kemp - Treating Jealousy

When I first set up in private practice offering behavioural therapy, I was surprised at just how many people came to see me with jealousy issues. This trend has remained constant over the years and I generally see people every month with jealousy issues.

Jealousy can be hugely disruptive in relationships and when clients first contact me for behavioural therapy assistance it's often at the point when a relationship is in some real trouble.

There can of course be genuine reasons for jealousy, but when someone experiences jealousy for no apparent reason, this then suggests that their imagination might be spiralling out of control.

A jealous person can find themselves in a constant "loop" of imagining their partner with somebody else. This "loop" can then consume the jealous person's thoughts to the extent that they find it hard to think of anything else at all. Sometimes a client may additionally make ongoing unhelpful suggestions to themselves as well as or instead of "picturing problems", setting up this sequence of negative thoughts. The Behavioural therapy, Hypnosis and Provocative Therapy toolkits are excellent in dealing with this condition and breaking this looping behavioural process.

Jealous thoughts can manifest in a variety of ways from anxiety and panic, to anger when a partner simply looks at another person. Maintaining these patterns of unhelpful behaviour can also be exhausting for the jealous person, to the extent that they not only become emotionally stressed, but in some instances physically unwell. Jealousy can cause a person to be withdrawn and moody, also resulting in anger or even fury. Afterwards it's normal for a person to feel remorse, and frustration with themselves, with an inability to control thoughts and feelings, producing anxious and depressed states of mind.

I have had excellent success resolving these jealous patterns with clients and this usually takes one to two sessions with behavioural therapy to fully resolve. The key to successfully treating jealousy is not through endless analysis about "why" a person may have these behavioural patterns, but rather "how" to break out of the unhelpful loop to create new found freedom.

"Thank you for Friday I did feel a lot better when I came out!"

Vicky S (treated for jealousy)